We went into Durban last night and realised the horror stories are true, Durban is not a safe place at night, we had only just parked the car when two guys came over and asked me if they could look after the car, when i said no one guy tryed to grab hold of me, luckily he was very drunk, so i managed to get away and catch up with the others. Apart from the people who spoil the atmosphere, Durban is an immense city and the harbour is unbelievable, in fact I am going back today to see it in the sun shine because it is beautiful.

My last entry was about some of the more hurtful experiences that i have had this past week, so in this one I am going to tell you about an experience which has lifted my spirit. There is a young man at the Hill AIDS Hospice called Sizwe, he has been there for a number of weeks now and seemed very bitter. Apparently when he first arrived Sizwe was very aggressive, he spat at staff and lashed out at them. He has refused his medication and would not accept help to leave his bed, it seemed that he had given up and wanted to die. On Tuesday I was sat on a sofa across from Sizwe's bed talking to one of the other patients, Sizwe woke up, looked over in our direction and began laughing uncontrollably. We all thought he was laughing because of what one of the other patients had said, but after 5 minuets or so when everyone had left the sofa and i was the only person remaining, Sizwe continued to laugh at me. It only took me a few seconds to realise he must have been laughing at my hair. Sizwe can not communicate verbally at the moment because of his illness, but the tone of his laughter said it all. "look at this white guy with dread locks, that is so funny!" I went over to his bed side and said "you are laughing at my locks arnt you?" Sizwe nodded and then laughed harder. I took my hair band off my head and shook my hair so it hung down over my face and i said to him "you are only jealous because my locks are much longer than yours, so you can laugh all you want." Sizwe just continued to laugh, but as he laughed he shook my hand in true Zulu fashion, we had become friends and seemed to have come to a compromise with out even discussing it.
On Wednesday I went over to talk to Sizwe and he seemed happy to see me again, so I asked him if he would like to try and get out of bed, he just shook his head and shrugged as if to say what is the point, this is it, i am stuck here till i die. I left him and went for a wheel chair, I sat in the chair and pushed my self over to him. Sizwe looked at me puzzled and all I said to him was "the point is that this chair is going to give you freedom" Sizwe nodded and then started to pull himself up right. I lifted him out of bed and helped him into the chair, Sizwe pushed himself around the ward with a smile on his face.

It is amazing how something so small as getting out of bed, something most of us take for granted can be the change around in somone elses life.

its only wednesday the 8th

Its only Wednesday 8th of April, so i am guessing my time here is going to be more of an experience then i could have ever imagined.

To day was my seond day at the AIDS centre and already I can feel the intensety of working here in Hill Crest. This morning I went straight out to pick a patient up from her home with Nochlanla one of the care staff. The girl we collected did not look well, but she was awake and her reactions seemed fine, I realised this as I manouvered the car to the side of an extreamly creatored and sandy trak which lead away from her home. A branch from a tree sprung in though the window, but she ducked out of the way, luckily. When we returned to the AIDs clinic we learned that the shop which sells craft work produced by the people working for Hill AIDS charity had been robbed, at gun point. I had only just leaft when two armed men ran into the shop and took around 9000 rand, which is about 600 pounds. It didnt really seem to bother any one too much, although the girl in the shop was a little shaken. Later this afternoon I had to take a young girl of twenty back home. She has started a course of Anti retro virals (Drugs which fight HIV) and they are working well, she seems very happy and has put on weight. The young girl and her mother walked us to the door and shouted "Syia bonga" which means thankyou always. This felt great, a young girl who was raped by her step dad, is infected with HIV/TB and has just left an intence clinic, still had happienes in her heart and can somhow find it within her self to smile and give thanks. We traveled a short way through the town ship to pick up the next patient. The house was the usual, breeze block and cement walls, which only became visabl after the dust from the track had settled. I parcked the car right at the door and we went in. I could see three men sitting watching TV and a couple of chilldren walking about the house. Nochlanla bent down and began talking, then I noticed, layed on a rug, wrapped in a blanket, on the concrete floor, covered with flys was a girl. We tryed to get her to sit up but she could not even find the strength to lift her arm. I held the girls head while nochlanla positioned her legs so we could carrie her, she was dead weight, but skin and bone hardly weighs anything, we carefuly as possible layed her on the back seat of the car and we made our way back to the clinic. The jouney back to the clinic was one which i will never forget. I wanted to let Nochlanla know that i have never seen a person so close to death beafore, but I couldnt speak, I felt like exlpoding in to tears but knew that the pain i felt no longer mattered. I have never felt this way before, but for some reason the intensety of all the pain and loss seems to leavel out the beauty of the land which surrounds us. Today was an experience, please keep reading because im sure these experiences will grow. Thanx

Durban, Hill crest

Im here at last.
The house i am staying in is wild at heart. infact watch wild at heart and thats me, but ill be working with people. watch this space ill check in soon

I have arrived

I landed in Johannesburg on Wednesday afternoon where i was met by Tumelo a friend of my family. Tumelo explained the break down of the South African Cities as we travelled. Mainly white people live on the outskirts of an industrial area, then you have a large town followed by a few miles of land. As you get further out of town more shops begin to appear but in the form of makeshift markets or run down buildings which have shops inside. Behind the market is a large community of people living in shacks made from scrap metal and wood. Further on there are large hostel like buildings where people live with no running water or electricity, in the apartheid years these would have been used for the Black men to live in, they would be transported to the mines to work when needed and then transported back. Then we entered Tokoza, Tokoza is the town ship which i stayed in for my three days in Johannesburg. When I arrived at Tobea and Solys house (Tumelos mum and dad) Tumelos sister Silwane invited me to walk around the Town ship. The first English language I heard when i left the gates of their home was a young guy in a group playing football on the road, he shouted "THERES A WHITE BOY IN TOWN", every body stopped to look, it soon became apparent that I was the only white person for many many miles. Silwane and I walked around the town ship, the only way i can describe what was going on, in comparison to the uk, is development in its early stages. Homes made with breeze block and then cemented to have a smooth finish, keeping the rain out, a terrible problem with rats, although the orphanage i visited was very well developed and the children safe and happy. Tokoza really helped me understand the struggle Black South Africans have had over the years, but one thing I did notice is that people are happy and content with their home. Who wouldn't be when you play your music as loud as possible at 12 at night and the neighbours do not complain, in fact they come to join the dancing and smiling, the chilldren constanly play and have a good education. I have come to realise it is not about building toilets so toddlers do not have to go to the toilet in buckets, or building a house with air conditioning, these are luxuries, it is about ensuring that every person has the essentials in life, food, water, fire and most of all friendship, if we have all these then we are going to survive.

Ready To Go!!

I'm all packed now and ready to go. I have arranged all i can now, so its a case of just sitting back and hoping for the best. This time tomorrow evening 22:30 I will be sitting in Dubai airport, its such a strange thought when I have been so used to my routine at home, but then again if I were not about to go on an adventure then I wouldn't be me. I imagine Johannesburg to be very warm, quite littered and a mixture of race, kind of like London spiced up, Ill tell you how It actually appears when i get there. I am spending four days in Johannesburg before I fly to Durban, I would like to visit the apartheid Museum, but most of all I want to experience SOWETO. I am sure I have plenty of time to do this, I'm just going to have to find someone who is willing to accompany me, because i do not fancy wondering around SOWETO or Johannesburg alone. Ok wish me luck with the traveling and ill update you as soon as i get near the net. Niabonga Kakulu (thank you in Zulu)

Answers To Your Questions

I received an Email commenting about a couple of quotes on this blog, I am not an expert in HIV/AIDS or the workings of the Human mind, but i will do my best to answer your questions and comments from my own experiences and point of view.



My quote;

"I use my time to learn as much as possible about people and the ability we have to overcome most obstacles."



This comment was raised;

I actually wondered if we (as human kind) are better at creating obstacles then over coming them.



My answer;

Personally I believe we create obstacles every day, overcoming these obstacles is down to the individuals it involves. I like to climb and have found my self half way up a 600ft face of rock, looking at the next part of the climb I realised it was far harder than anything I had, or wanted to climb. This rock had always been there and it was my choice to turn it into an obstacle that stood in front of me, I could have passed it by, but I chose to climb and at the top I sat with two good friends and watched the sun set behind the mountains. My point is that we are Human and we create problems and obstacles, we always have and always will. It is up to us as individuals to choose if the obstacles we face will help us grow in strength or if they will kill us off. Obstacles will always be here, but seeing somebody working at overcoming one, or working to overcome one your self gives off an Epic feeling. That feeling is very contagious and will attract others to help over come the given obstacle. Think Positive



The next comment was;

but we could overcome it (HIV/AIDS) if we were monogamous and yet seem incapable of being so. What do you think?



My view;

I think being faith full to a sexual partner is very important not just because of the risk of HIV, STI's or pregnancy, but because of the selfish, lost and lonely emotions people get from sleeping around. This is not good for society or the individual, it breeds a greed for sex which in turn spreads illness. I believe this could be advertised more, along with the need for people to be tested if changing sexual partner. The media seems adamant on advertising war, Drugs, people being stabbed and shot, never that AIDS has killed another number of people and HIV is spreading fast. If people were properly educated about HIV/AIDS and then continually reminded, I believe it would become more apparent to act on prevention. As we over come more and more obstacles we adapt and change accordingly, this is inevitable. Today younger people have a very casual approach to sex, so why not accept this? I am not trying to contradict my self here, but if we accept the change in sexual behavior, we may find it easier to hammer home the consequences casual sex has through understanding. Morals are good to have, but they must be learnt, so why don't we teach rather than assume others will catch up? Lets act on the obstacle we have created rather than passing it by or looking for another.

Thank you for your comments, please keep them coming. I have set up a comment option on the blog, but if it is not working please feel free to send an Email. ben-jam-in@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers Benj

My first diary entry

I am 25 days from leaving now. The build up to the 31st of March has been like climbing an unforgiving mountain, the last few steps are always the most tiring. I am hoping from here on in it will be a ride that takes control of me (I'm sure it will).

This year i have worked extremely hard, day and night, sometimes not going home for days simply to get as many shifts in as possible. I work for St Anne's community services and without them this trip would not have been possible. Working with people is what i love, weather it be my colleagues or the service users, they have all provided me with more support than i could have wished for, I do not know how to thank you guys at St Anne's other than to work hard in South Africa and bring what i learn home to you, Thank you! My friends and family have been my balance when not at work, thank you too.

My inspiration for going to work in South Africa has come from my Grandma, Olive Yates. As a young boy I remember these black African people coming to our house for a meal once every couple of years. I never understood who they were or why our family had anything to do with them until I began to grow older and ask questions. My questions were never fully answered, but now I am a grown man my Gran opened a whole new, or should i say distant world to me and now I understand why my questions were so kindly avoided. Grandma met a South African Father called Simeon. Farther Simeon turned up at Grandmas church one day through his mission work. My Gran was touched by this mans strength of mind and hope for his country. As she continued to get to know Farther Simeon, she began to feel this mysterious pain he carried with him, the pain of his people. At this time South Africa was in the middle of Apartheid. All Blacks, Asians, whites etc were being separated into race. This was conducted by looks. so if a person had black features then they were classed as black and if they had Asian features they were Asian, this often meant that families were split simply because they did not look the same. Most of the native South Africans where pushed out of cities like Johannesburg where the land is rich with gold, out to lands that are not even good for farming, all so the white man could mine for his riches. The people affected by the Apartheid started to protest and show resistance and this resulted in many people being massacred. Hearing these story's of blood shed from Farther Simeon did not frightened my grandma, it drove her to follow Farther Simeon back to South Africa, so she could see with her own eyes, the pain he was caring with him.

My role is to try and follow on from where my Grandma left off. There is no Apartheid any more, but the after math, like in any war is disease and poverty. My role in South Africa will be to support people who are infected or affected by HIV/AIDS. I will be going for three months and have a sneaky suspicion that this trip will change my life.

Over the last 12 months i have completed two sponsored walks and conducted a charity auction. The first walk I completed was the National three peaks, the three highest mountains in Britain, all good fun until I found my self stuck on Snowdon in the dead of night, with my step dad. The second walk was the Yorkshire three peaks which i completed with two good friends. The auction took a lot of work, but it payed off in the end. I also received a very generous sponsor from Huddersfield's Pen Dragon, so all in all a very successful year thanks to a great team of people.

Before the end of this log i want to thank;

All my friends and Family
Everyone at Work
Pen Dragon
Kirkheaton School
Czerwiks

You have all helped me reach my goal, Thank you!