Looking from the Inside out!!!!!!

It took me around 12 months to raise enough money to get to South Africa and in that 12 months I adopted a very determined frame of mind. I pushed my self into believing every thing I dreamed SA might be, actually would be, but at the same time I realised that I would have to work very hard in reaching this Vision too. My Vision in coming here to SA was not to travel, see the tourist sights or even settle for a nine to five voluntary job, my Vision was to some how place my self into the working class majority of people and feel how it must be for those who stuggle in this country every day. Don't get me wrong I have travelled and seen a good chunk of SA, it has been great fun seeing some of the famous places and learning the history. The Voluntary work has been a life changing experience and more like 5 to 9 rather than 9 to 5. All this work and travelling seem absolutely relative when I finally got the chance to stay with a family in a rural Town Ship called lower Molweni.





Working for the Hill Aids Centre gets us out into the communities a lot as you will have gathered from my past Blogs. When we set out to visit or collect a patient at their home we usually ask someone who lives close if they can direct us to the correct house. More often than not this would be a member of staff or someone who has left the Respite unit and gone to live back home. Last year a young man called Sponelo (Wise Man) was discharged from the Respite unit having started his ARV's, recovering nicely. Wise man went back home to his rural Township, Lower Molweni. Over the last year, more and more people have fallen sick in Lower Molweni through AIDS and I am sad to say some never go back home. Being surrounded by all this Death is very sad, but when we see a young guy who was at deaths door, now bouncing down the steep track that leads from his house to assist us in finding someone who is sick, so they also have the chance that he once had, the feeling of an unstoppable smile, has us bouncing to meet him half way. I met Wise Man on one of these occasions and realised that his enthusiastic approach to life matched my enthusiastic urge to fulfil my dream, I didn't waste time I just asked him straight out, while giving a firm Zulu hand shake and embracing I asked "Wise Man, you know I Love this place and it would be a dream to come and stay with you?" to my surprise there was no hesitation, Wise Man Asked "When? Next weekend?" I simply answered "Ye ok i will call you in the week."


On Friday 28/6/09 I finished work in Hill Crest and took the 30min journey out to Lower Molweni. I jumped out of the car and my lift disappeared back down the windy road into the valley of 1000 hills. Wise Man was waiting for me as excited as I was, we walked back to his house and dropped my bag off. Wise Man shears his home with his Grandmother Maria, His Uncle and his Brother and Sister. I thought after being introduced to the family in the house that would be that, but within 2mins there was a knock at the door and another young guy walked in, one of Wise Mans friends, I quickly came to realise that Wise Man is house proud and his door is open at all times. We went for a walk after an hour of chatting and all the visitors nearly fainting of shock because of the white guy (me) at Wise Mans house. We walked to Wise Mans Aunts home about 5mins away, we knocked at the door and walked in, We sat down and were made very welcome, again I realised it is not just the Wise Man who is a master at hospitality but it appears the whole Town Ship love having visitors. We had supper and then headed back home. Wise Mans house is a small breeze block and cement structure, the front wall appears to be breaking away from the side walls and the windows are metal frames covered with a curtain. There is a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen area, there is no running water in side and the toilet is a 10meter walk from the front door and just to make every one aware back in the UK, Most toilets in town ships do not flush, you sit and your business falls into a hole in the ground, we call these toilets, a long drop. On the side of Wise Mans house is a two room building where his Gran and sister sleep, this building is made with a wooden frame and mud, it is amazing how much weather these types of buildings withstand. Shortly after we arrived back home we went to bed. Wise Man offered me his bed but I opted for a foam mattress on his floor, We stayed awake talking for hours, I find it amazing how two lives can be so distant but when put together we have all the same values, I made a great friend in Wise Man. On sat morning we washed in the river, because the outside tap was not working, after washing we headed off into the hills for a walk. Lower Molweni is surrounded by cliffs, We walked up on of the large hills which leads to a huge cliff of rock. Once at the top of the hill I was eager to head for the cliff to climb but Wise Man was adamant we must not go near the cliff, I was gutted we could not go, but when he told me of the big cat that lives up there I also decided against the idea. We spent the remainder of the day traveling to see friends on the shuttle taxis, a very dangerous mode of transport but a very fun one at the same time, cheap too. On Sat evening we had a BBQ and allot of Wise Mans friends dropped by, This is when I started to understand the routine the average man has within a town ship. Work Mon to Fri if there is any work and then fri evening to Sunday evening drink beer, in fact on Sunday we went to visit a friend who told us to go and join in with the Zulu ritual which was taking place out side. We went out side and sat with the guys on the grass, after about half an hour of watching these guys drinking beer I realised this was the ritual, to sit in a circle and drink beer until you cant physically put the bottle to your mouth any more, soon after I realised the rules of the ritual we left and went to Church to meet Wise mans Grandma. The drinking is not just a habit for these guys as it might be for the people living with a choice to explore alternatives, the drinking is more like a pass time, something to kill the time before they have to worry about weather the guy with the Bucky truck will arrive on mon morning to allow them another days work. Town Ship life seems to be a struggle, the people living only a few km away have wealth beyond belief, all this money in sight of people living quite simply creates an urge to catch up. This could be another reason for drug and alcohol abuse, a quick and easy escape from a tight struggle or may be I'm wrong and it is just a habit which has been going on for years, in reflection of all this, friendship is also very tight and if you ever want the definition of a Strong community then Lower Molweni is a good place to start.
The most memorable part of the weekend for me was simply spending time with a guy the same age as me with a very similar out look in life. I was in Lower Molweni for 2 days and 2 nights, these days and nights were time I will treasure in my memory throuout my life!

Lesotho

I have spent the last 5 days in Lesotho, an independent country which is surrounded by South Africa. I traveled with a tour guide called Matthew and a Spanish brother and sister, Marik and Christine. Lesotho is known as the Kingdom In the Sky, it has the highest low point in the world. In my last post I said I was going on a Lord of the Rings adventure, but I didn't realise that Lesotho was the inspiration for the film until Matthew advised us on the first day of the trip, I was excited, but a little sceptical of how a country and culture could have possibly inspired such a film. We crossed the boarder and arrived in Lesotho. We had a drink in the highest pub in Africa which is at 2874m about 10,000 ft and then set off on our journey. It didn't take me long to see exactly where the inspiration came from. The people in Lesotho live from the Earth, they nurture their animals and crops and they drink water from fresh springs. There is a western influence beginning, but the majority of people travel on horse back and use traditional methods of farming. I wondered where the inspiration for the Hobbit came from and then Matthew told us of Bush Men who used to occupy the mountains of Lesotho, They were about 5ft in height and very hairy, they no longer exist but they sound like a Hobbit to me. The majority of the men in Lesotho work as Sheppard's, they constantly move their cattle across the mountains, sometimes because of the cold winter months in the high lands and sometimes because they need to reach a place where they can sell their live stock. The Sheppard's can walk or ride for days to get to where they want to be. The typical image in Lesotho is a man on a horse, he is wrapped loosely in blankets, his face covered by a balaclava and he holds a decorated staff. More often than not the Sheppard will be pushing the horse to a gallop through the mountains, his blanket waving in the air behind him almost like a cape. I found this quite daunting and magical at first, but then when the Sheppard stops to say hi all this mystery vanishes as he is usually a young man with a big smile and a vein urge to have his photo taken, the insparation is most definatly there for the Lord of th Rings. The houses are round, the flooring is made from stone slabs then these slabs are covered with a mixture of dung and mud, there is a large circle left in the centre of the floor to the stone slabs. The walls are made of stone and the inside wall is also pasted with dung and mud. The roof is made from a wooden frame and then thatched grass to keep the water out. A fire is started in the centre circle on the floor, this heats the stone slabs which heat the dung and mud and this stores the heat. The smoke from the fire rises to the roof and helps to strengthen the grass, also the Sheppard's blankets catch the smoke and become water resistant. On the first morning of our trip I noticed the children were standing against the wall of the house which I thought was strange, it was frosty out side and I wondered why they were not warped in blankets, then I put my hand against the wall and felt the hot heat. In the west we have invented ways to create heat through electricity, this costs money, in Lesotho the cost of heat is the time it takes to gather the fire wood and set it alight. When I experience such simple methods of living which only cost time and thought, I realise that the western world has evolved so much, we have become lazy using money to compensate for loss of time. Money has become fuel which is too expensive to burn, what ever happened to time being too expensive to waste???
If you want to understand how far developed we are in Britain then Lesotho is a good place to visit, my only concern is that when a white man sees somebody drinking from a river, he sees poverty and offers a bottle of water. The bottle of water was never needed as the water in the river flows fresh from the mountains all year round. The person drinking from the river now understands that if he lives the way he always has people will come and give him more, the more we give to a person who does not need, the more they ask for, when the begging begins to over power the the need to take time to drink from the river, poverty begins to take effect. We were wealthy before we became greedy, but unfortunately being Human has a natural pattern which forces change no matter what the cost. Lesotho is one of the few wealthy places left on the earth, but slowly we are forcing change upon it, so just remember the next time you give a beggar food or money you are not changing their life, you are simply paying a fee to save time.
Become educated by a culture before you proceed to make changes which will have a life changing effect.

Take a few min's of your day to think!!!

Today was a public holiday here in Durban, so I went to the Respite Unit (Aids Hospice) to take one of the patients out for a milkshake. It was a pleasant experience because Nonclancla has started to recover and is now on ARV medication, we hope she can go home in the next week. I have noticed that, it is not just the illness that is killing people within the Respite Unit, it is being surrounded by death its self. Try and imagine laying in a bed next to a young woman who is similar in age to yourself. You share stories and laughter with each other, you talk about what you will do when you get home, how proud you are of your children, you become close friends. Over the next week you notice your friend has become weak and delirious, you give words of strength, but it is not enough because early the next morning you are woken by care staff lifting her dead body on to a metal trolley to be taken to the chapel. That same day another patient is brought in to the unit and is given the only spear bed, which is the bed in which your friend passed away. You can not begin to strike a friendship because you are still shocked and also the new girl is gasping for life. You try and turn away from the noise of her Sharpe breathing, but the new girl is really trying to survive, using everything she has got, even hidden under the covers with your fingers in your ears you can feel the pain she is suffering to stay alive. Only two days have gone by and you are disturbed again by the sound of the care staff moving the new girls body on to the metal trolley. Just imagine being surrounded by this for weeks. Knowing you are in the best place you could be because the care you are receiving is second to none, the staff at the respite unit have not only helped you to eat well and get out and about, but they have supported you to get the drugs which will allow you a long and healthy life. Imagine the feeling of joy and happiness such support will bring, but at the same time imagine the fear that will scar you forever seeing so many people die around you, that fear is enough to kill someone. The place of full recovery is with family, surrounded by the ones who love you, that is where the true healing begins.
I am not going to shout my beliefs at you because Evey one thinks differently and in my eyes and everyone is right. All i will say is that I do not believe in god, this is just how i am. I believe that when people take a few moments of silence within them self's and concentrate on truly wanting a person to recover from what ever it is they suffer from it helps. Each day this week I have sat and held the hand of two ladies, one who died on Saturday and one who is very weak and will die very soon. I believe that simply holding a person and putting your every thought in to them feeling safe and comfortable works. I have seen the relaxation flood through a person when they realise you are there and you are there wholey for them, so please weather you believe in a God or not, just take a few minutes out of your day to think about those who suffer in the world and really put all you energy in to it because it works.
I feel my work at the Respite unit is helping a great deal so thank you very much to all those who helped me to reach South Africa. Ideas are evolving all the time, I have noticed that young people within town ships do not have opportunities like we do in the UK and because of this lack of mutual interest many young people turn to alcohol, this often results in unsafe sex and the spread of HIV. This is just one combination, there are hundreds more that lead young people to infection. Working in a place where people are at the end result of these situations has made me realise that the problem lies way back in the teenage years. I believe that if teenagers are exposed to positive, active, enthusiastic and disciplined situations through mutual interests like sport and art, they learn through experience's which scar their memory with a positive message for life. Unlike the youth in the UK, the teenagers here have absolutely no chance of a message like this being delivered. They live in the perfect setting for learning about wild life, they have all the natural facilities for almost every sport except Skiing, the inspiration for being creative is endless, but there is no money to train those who teach how to use all this and that is where the message about HIV needs to be pushed home, when people are young and impressionable.
Tomorrow I am going to widen my traveling experience a little more, I am heading to a country called Lesotho. Lesotho is a country of its own in the centre of South Africa. I will be meeting 2 other people at the boarder of Lesotho then we will trek for 2 days in to the mountains hopefully we will find our way to a small village in the mountains where the Sutu people live, we will spend a day with them and then head back to South Africa. I am sure next week I will have a lot to tell you, Not only am i going to experience another culture and have time to reflect, but I'm going to get the Lord of the Rings adventure in the mountains woo hoo. Love you all Ben

This Is Africa

I have heard them saying this for years. You might be wondering who they are, but that is the least of your worries when you hear a comment like "This is Africa!" My response has always been "what is Africa? I live in England but you don't hear me shouting this is England!" Following this usually comes a confident smile and "well hopefully one day you will see" I would walk away laughing inside. Well the only person I'm laughing at now, is my self.

Let me try and explain exactly what it is I am trying to tell you.
The sun rises from the East like any other country in the world, except in Africa there is no gradual rise, the sun lifts straight up and into the sky, it is nearly possible to see the rotation of the earth as the the day begins because the sun is so dominant like a beast overlooking this enormous country. People rise early here in Africa, some to head off to work, some to continue their washing and cleaning and some to simply sit in awe of the sun, but mostly people start their day because it is a day. When sitting at home relaxing or driving along the road, hearing the occasional rifle or pistol shot is quite normal, the thought of where the buletlands is vacant as long as everyone is safe. The majority of people in Africa take pride in their home, weather it be how carefully someone picked out the scrap metal that shelters them from the rain or which kind of sound proofing they use in their music studio. Money is a rich mans wealth in Africa and Health a poor mans struggle. Black people are known to other Black people and Whites to whites, Hindu people to Hindu and Muslim to Muslim, but some times there may be a Black person who knows a White or a Muslims who knows a Hindu, what ever the combination in Africa this is the beginning of peace and also corruption. As the day draws in and the news of another corrupt political leader rising in to power reels from the radio, another dead body is bundled into a Hurst because AIDS or a bullet killed it. Death is evidently the closest thing to life, but surviving simply means being alive. The rolling mountains of tropical life and beautiful scenery may lead to a dieing person, but then if there was never hurt in such a wonderful place how could any one possibly survive. The doctors, nurses, mechanics, shop assistants and police all make their way back to the home they strive to keep alive. The beast's in the wild finish their day of hunting, mating and nurturing, the heated soil finds a cool breeze, the rich man closes the estate gates and the town - ship music begins to play. The beast in the sky doesn't fade away or become less, but ends its watchful day by falling back down and out of sight to rest in wait of its next opportunity of day.

There is a a problem in Africa, But the problem is, that it just is. There is also an air of peace in Africa and you can find the peace within the problem, you ask why????

Because "This is Africa"

We went into Durban last night and realised the horror stories are true, Durban is not a safe place at night, we had only just parked the car when two guys came over and asked me if they could look after the car, when i said no one guy tryed to grab hold of me, luckily he was very drunk, so i managed to get away and catch up with the others. Apart from the people who spoil the atmosphere, Durban is an immense city and the harbour is unbelievable, in fact I am going back today to see it in the sun shine because it is beautiful.

My last entry was about some of the more hurtful experiences that i have had this past week, so in this one I am going to tell you about an experience which has lifted my spirit. There is a young man at the Hill AIDS Hospice called Sizwe, he has been there for a number of weeks now and seemed very bitter. Apparently when he first arrived Sizwe was very aggressive, he spat at staff and lashed out at them. He has refused his medication and would not accept help to leave his bed, it seemed that he had given up and wanted to die. On Tuesday I was sat on a sofa across from Sizwe's bed talking to one of the other patients, Sizwe woke up, looked over in our direction and began laughing uncontrollably. We all thought he was laughing because of what one of the other patients had said, but after 5 minuets or so when everyone had left the sofa and i was the only person remaining, Sizwe continued to laugh at me. It only took me a few seconds to realise he must have been laughing at my hair. Sizwe can not communicate verbally at the moment because of his illness, but the tone of his laughter said it all. "look at this white guy with dread locks, that is so funny!" I went over to his bed side and said "you are laughing at my locks arnt you?" Sizwe nodded and then laughed harder. I took my hair band off my head and shook my hair so it hung down over my face and i said to him "you are only jealous because my locks are much longer than yours, so you can laugh all you want." Sizwe just continued to laugh, but as he laughed he shook my hand in true Zulu fashion, we had become friends and seemed to have come to a compromise with out even discussing it.
On Wednesday I went over to talk to Sizwe and he seemed happy to see me again, so I asked him if he would like to try and get out of bed, he just shook his head and shrugged as if to say what is the point, this is it, i am stuck here till i die. I left him and went for a wheel chair, I sat in the chair and pushed my self over to him. Sizwe looked at me puzzled and all I said to him was "the point is that this chair is going to give you freedom" Sizwe nodded and then started to pull himself up right. I lifted him out of bed and helped him into the chair, Sizwe pushed himself around the ward with a smile on his face.

It is amazing how something so small as getting out of bed, something most of us take for granted can be the change around in somone elses life.

its only wednesday the 8th

Its only Wednesday 8th of April, so i am guessing my time here is going to be more of an experience then i could have ever imagined.

To day was my seond day at the AIDS centre and already I can feel the intensety of working here in Hill Crest. This morning I went straight out to pick a patient up from her home with Nochlanla one of the care staff. The girl we collected did not look well, but she was awake and her reactions seemed fine, I realised this as I manouvered the car to the side of an extreamly creatored and sandy trak which lead away from her home. A branch from a tree sprung in though the window, but she ducked out of the way, luckily. When we returned to the AIDs clinic we learned that the shop which sells craft work produced by the people working for Hill AIDS charity had been robbed, at gun point. I had only just leaft when two armed men ran into the shop and took around 9000 rand, which is about 600 pounds. It didnt really seem to bother any one too much, although the girl in the shop was a little shaken. Later this afternoon I had to take a young girl of twenty back home. She has started a course of Anti retro virals (Drugs which fight HIV) and they are working well, she seems very happy and has put on weight. The young girl and her mother walked us to the door and shouted "Syia bonga" which means thankyou always. This felt great, a young girl who was raped by her step dad, is infected with HIV/TB and has just left an intence clinic, still had happienes in her heart and can somhow find it within her self to smile and give thanks. We traveled a short way through the town ship to pick up the next patient. The house was the usual, breeze block and cement walls, which only became visabl after the dust from the track had settled. I parcked the car right at the door and we went in. I could see three men sitting watching TV and a couple of chilldren walking about the house. Nochlanla bent down and began talking, then I noticed, layed on a rug, wrapped in a blanket, on the concrete floor, covered with flys was a girl. We tryed to get her to sit up but she could not even find the strength to lift her arm. I held the girls head while nochlanla positioned her legs so we could carrie her, she was dead weight, but skin and bone hardly weighs anything, we carefuly as possible layed her on the back seat of the car and we made our way back to the clinic. The jouney back to the clinic was one which i will never forget. I wanted to let Nochlanla know that i have never seen a person so close to death beafore, but I couldnt speak, I felt like exlpoding in to tears but knew that the pain i felt no longer mattered. I have never felt this way before, but for some reason the intensety of all the pain and loss seems to leavel out the beauty of the land which surrounds us. Today was an experience, please keep reading because im sure these experiences will grow. Thanx

Durban, Hill crest

Im here at last.
The house i am staying in is wild at heart. infact watch wild at heart and thats me, but ill be working with people. watch this space ill check in soon